2012, 3 seasons to date
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Violent computer game Tokyo Sin is all the rage and the pupils are copying its most dangerous move,the blitz kick. To impress Miss Gulliver Alfie aims to stamp out the craze by declaring a weapons amnesty,bribing his class to bring weapons to school,though none are forthcoming. When an outbreak of blitz kicks attracts bad press publicity Fraser brings in a crazed South African self defence teacher to show the pupils how to prevent a fight. This involves Alfie as his guinea pig,requiring the class to rescue him.
After his innocent school trip to The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) the previous year, Alfie is relegated to assisting Rosie Gulliver as,driven by the enterprising Frank, they take the kids to the Tring Ink Museum and Petting Zoo. The place is a shambles,the pupils bored and Rosie incensed by a caged pig.To impress her Alfie frees the animal but accidentally runs it over when Frank asks him to drive the coach, which breaks down as a result. After Alfie has got everybody lost in the woods, Rosie rounds on him but relents when he gets a group of doggers to rescue them. Maybe they should have gone on ...
After Alfie has played a cruel joke on her Miss Pickwell goes missing. Her car is found by the Clifton Suspension Bridge with a note to say she has jumped to her death, driven to it by Alfie. Whilst Fraser and Alfie interview prospective replacements - all highly unsuitable - Miss Gulliver is appointed acting deputy and proceeds to act more and more like Miss Pickwell. Consumed with guilt Alfie gives a funeral oration - though unfortunately for the wrong person - before organizing a lavish memorial service at the school, after which he is secretly visited by Miss ...
Alfie does not take to Miss Pickwell's equally officious replacement Professor Celia Green, especially when she interrupts Fraser's 'Take Me Out' dating show which he has organized for Valentine's Day, announcing to everybody that Chantelle is pregnant and Alfie has offered to help look after the baby. Miss Gulliver agrees to pose as Alfie's girlfriend as he has told Martin, his father, that they are going out. However when Miss Gulliver arrives at the house she and Alfie have to endure hearing the noisy love-making of former student colleagues Martin and Professor ...
Alfie is shocked that Fraser has re-employed violent sports teacher Preet, who is just out of prison. However Alfie is desperate to beat Miss Gulliver's ex-boyfriend Richard at the school sports day so he enlists Preet's aid. Before the race against Richard Alfie finds what he believes to be steroids in his rival's bag so he downs a handful, observed by the love-sick Preet, who blackmails him into having sex with him but in the event the pills are Viagara, enabling Alfie to literally win by a head.
Whilst Martin is teaching him to drive Alfie runs over Pod, the school's caretaker and feels he must visit daily to look after him whilst the class fund raise for his surgery. A spiteful Alfie steals the ambulance which Richard drives but gets caught up in a genuine accident from which Grayson rescues him. At Pod's presentation it is discovered that he is a fraud who has faked his injuries though a happy ending is denied Alfie when Martin announces that he is dating Grayson's mother.